Musings of a Madman (x2)
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Written by Mike on July 24, 2008 – 7:27 pm
About three weeks ago, Aman and I made the decision to turn off the Zune (fuck you, iPods!) and spend almost all of our many hours in the car holding conversations. No, we haven’t killed one another yet, but I’ve been asked the question about seven times. What follows are some of the topics we’ve covered:
Top songs to play in a post-apocalyptic setting (random sampling from top ten):
- When The World Ends (Paul Oakenfold Remix) – Dave Matthews Band
- Where is My Mind – The Pixies
- The Beginning of the End – 30 Seconds to Mars
- Right Where it Belongs – Nine Inch Nails
Aman’s Small Town Theory:
As the population of a town approaches 0, the number of beautiful women (and men) increases. Reasoning is that beautiful people tend to attract other beautiful people, and smaller towns tend to have higher pregnancy rates. As such, beautiful people have beautiful children at a younger age, and the family tends to stay in the town for some time. Tendencies lean towards the cycle repeating (hence generational families in small towns).
Aman’s Population Zero Postulate:
Aforementioned small towns must have a population large enough to support a grade/grammar school; otherwise the population pool is not large enough to support Small Town Theory.
The world’s best bumper sticker:
“Remember Who You Wanted to Be.” Bonus: custom license plate that read “NEVER.”
Starbuck drinks consumed:
Aman: 41 (estimated).
Mike: 0 (estimated).
Near-death experiences:
Four. Locations: Portland, Seattle, Milwaukee, 60 miles out of Chicago.
Worst cultural phenomenon of the decade:
Indie music. Not music that is signed to an independent label, but rather the strange folksy guitar bands that make little sense and wear tight pants. Band names often begin the indefinite article: “the.” Band names also make little sense. Example: Minus the Bear*
*Note: Minus the Bear is actually pretty cool.
Best fictional underground hip-hop band name:
Smoking Causes Cancer. Album name: The Surgeon General’s Warning.
Wisdom gained:
- Respect is given and lost; not earned.
- Comic books are better in encapsulated story format (see: The Watchmen).
- Rest stops provide a pleasurable sleeping experience. Some rest stops have wireless internet.
- City Museum in St. Louis is indeed the coolest place in the universe. Everyone was right.
- Truckers make the American way of life possible. They are everywhere.
- CouchSurfing is the best website in the world. I will never travel without it.
- Beautiful women do watch baseball. We have seen proof.
Experience points gained:
- Aman has gained 8,445 XP! 1 per mile! This is the way!
- Mike has gained 576 XP! Mike has learned NAVIGATION IV.
Top 3 alien landscapes:
- Wyoming
- Arizona
- Mars
Favorite cities (unranked):
Portland, Seattle, Milwaukee, Chicago.
I cannot believe you are my brother and yet have not had any Starbuck’s drinks. If not for the very awesome theme of this road trip, I would have to disown you. But anyway. Near death experiences? OMGWTFBBQ???